Everyone has a TV mind these days: she is streaming self-produced dramas straight into her synapses; he still has Cable hooked up to his cerebral cortex. Both are constantly broadcasting a roster of inaccurate news updates, infomercials for disposable lifestyles, unfunny split-second sitcoms and long documentaries about themselves and their opinions. She is currently hosting her own version of The View, discussing new shoes for Fall; he is a contestant on a game show, trying to win the first prize Porsche but he'll settle for twenty thousand in cash. Their entire day is filmed live in front of an imaginary studio audience of the world, who clap and applaud when he and she enter the scene and utter their famous catchphrase "Please pay attention to me."
Alas, everyone else has a TV mind too, so attention spans ares short. Even if I do momentarily acknowledge their presence on my screen, it's only as a walk-on role, not the star of the show, who of course is me, or at least was me until the latest episode of My Working Week got such very low ratings. Industry insiders claim My Working Week will be cancelled after this season, in favor of an Investigative Reports special where a camera crew follow me going to different offices in search of another job. I just hope it's a feel-good story about finding a new vocation after fifty, and not some hard-hitting expose of rising unemployment amongst middle-aged men. I guess we shall see when the next issue of my personal TV Guide is published. Until then, tune in next week for another thrilling installment.
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