Coffee Break

I started drinking mushroom coffee to improve my focus and productivity. Three cups a day accompanied by a ginger and turmeric cookie. I'd seen Zak Spark pitch this mental diet on TikTok, and his personal and professional life looked amazing and enviable. At least, it seemed so for the five seconds of drink-my-coffee and kick-some-ass advice he dispensed in his daily video updates. According to muscle-rippling Zak, a triple dose of lion's mane mushroom coffee is Nature's version of a tractor-beam for your attention span and jet fuel for your body, combining to create a high-octane, destiny-changing super boost. The ginger and turmeric cookie is not only a treat for the taste buds, but a power pill packed with organic goodness and essential nutrition.

Alas, trying to enhance my own activities and processes with Zak's products turned my To-Do list into a sort of funhouse mirror. Simple tasks and assignments morphed into heroic quests and journeys of discovery before my dilated eyeballs. My color-coded calendar became more of a kaleidoscope than an organized day-planner. I found that there was so much to focus on that I didn't know where to begin. And so my productivity rapidly declined. Perhaps I shouldn't be polluting my mushroom coffee with a splash of cream and a spoonful of sugar? I left a message for Zak about this issue on one of his posts but he didn't reply.

The coffee I bought in bulk from Zak's website but the cookies I had to bake myself from ingredients sold by Zak and a recipe he recommended. Achieving the correct consistency and flavor profile was not easy for me, especially in an ancient gas oven, and obviously my attention switched at random intervals from the cookie recipe to the latest Wall Street stock reports, confusing the two. So, by mistake, I inadvertently invested in a turmeric farm and baked a batch of Nasdaq cookies. Why I dunked them in the mushroom coffee I watched the Nasdaq cookies crumble into coffee-soaked chunks that slowly sank to the bottom of my Zak Spark mug (free gift with initial purchase). It took so long to clean up the mess that I got nothing else done for the rest of the day.

I've returned to drinking normal Tuscan Roast coffee now, which I always enjoy with imported almond biscotti. I don't need to order either from the Internet, my favorite brands are always in stock at Giovanni's Little Italy store on Main Street. Giovanni doesn't have a TikTok, he just stands behind the counter looking gloomy, complaining that his costs go up each week so he must increase his prices. Fifty bucks is expensive for a month's supply of Arabica beans but it's still a lot cheaper than Zak Spark's mushroom regimen. Meanwhile, I just try to focus on the good things in my life, every day human interactions. I find it's easier to get things done that way. 

Comments

[Tatyana]

I hear ya