The Customer Is Now And Always

Life is a supermarket featuring maze-like aisles stocked with a variety of different experiences: some fresh and organic, many often frozen TV dinners, and a lot canned in gooey syrup. You'll need help getting what you want down from the top shelf, and you'll find yourself put in the awkward position of asking a sullen stranger with a name tag if there's more of it stored out back. Don't forget your discount coupons and loyalty cards when you go shopping. And it's best to make a list before you visit, although that's impossible unless you've been reincarnated.

So how did you end up pushing the shopping cart with the broken wheel? Difficult to maneuver and causing obstructions in the personal care section. Perhaps you should have just taken a basket instead? After all, you only came in to pick up a few things. The basics. At least that's what you told yourself. So much for the Ten Items Or Less lane idea. Ah well, you'll just have to wait in the long line at check-out until you're called. "Cashier Number Fifty-Six Million is now available." And the funny thing is, you are not only the Consumer but also Cashier Number Fifty-Six Million, wearily unloading the experiences in your cart then also watching them trundle down the check-out conveyor belt towards you, scanning each one and placing it in your re-usable bag.

But wait a moment, what is this exotic purple fruit that the Cashier you doesn't know the price code for? The Consumer you doesn't remember putting that in his cart and he's not sure he wants the odd looking thing anyway. Is it possible to speak to a manager? Is somebody in charge here? Does anybody know what's going on? I've been shopping here my entire life and I've never had a problem before. I don't have the time for unknown exotic fruits right now.

Alas, no manager comes. Consumer you stands there staring at the Cashier you and he stares back. People in line behind you are getting impatient. You're holding everybody up. You know, just put it in my bag. We'll call it an American Mauve Melon selling for twenty bucks a pound. That seems about right. That seems fair. I've got other things to do and other places to be and, who knows, maybe I'll even like it. Just put it in my bag with the receipt. thanks. Jesus, what a life in the supermarket. Still, it's better than experiencing everything Online, I guess. Now, where did I park my car?

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