A new notification appeared on Pandora's iPhone screen: 'Your box is out for delivery.'
She was briefly nonplussed. Did she order a box? She must have done, otherwise why was she receiving such a package. This was another consequence of her compulsive Online shopping, no doubt; an avaricious whim added to an empty website basket in a moment of midnight ennui.
But what could possibly be in the box? A new pair of Birkenstocks, perhaps. Boyfriend jeans from Banana Republic. Or maybe a packet of trending protein powder, as seen on Instagram. Pandora was easily influenced by that sort of thing.
She should probably check her recent orders so she'd know what to expect. Pandora loved surprises, she told herself, but she didn't like being surprised by them. Her heart knew what she meant by that even if her mind didn't. Besides, most places had a great return policy if the box turned out to contain an unwelcome surprise.
Of course, you've probably guessed what is in Pandora's box: All The Troubles of the World, rechargeable batteries included and no assembly required. Another free gift supplied with every qualifying purchase from Landphil Fast Fashions; and when Pandora inspected the tracking information, she saw the latest update claimed that the shipment was already only three stops away from her house. That was quick. Too late to cancel now.
Pandora hoped that the driver didn't expect a tip. But everyone does these days, no matter what service they provide, however great or small its necessity and however poorly or perfectly its offices are executed. That's why Pandora purchased everything from websites, to avoid the awkward transactions of human interaction. Best case scenario, the driver would simply leave the box on Pandora's porch with the others, then leave.
One day, Pandora decided, she would unsubscribe from all those mailing lists, instantly shred whatever catalogues arrived in the post, de-friend the product pushers on social media and delete all the crap added to her numerous Online shopping baskets. Then perhaps All The Troubles of the World would stop being delivered to her front door with such frequency. But arousing acquisition of counterfeit luxury is a hard drug to kick when the dopamine hits of everyday life are never enough.
'Your box has been delivered. Please leave valuable feedback by rating your experience today on a scale of 1 to 10.' Pandora glanced out of her window at the exhausted driver limping back to his beat-up van and pressed 10.
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