Perihelion And On

The sun rises like a well-rehearsed after-dinner speaker, clearing its throat of clouds before reciting the events of the day in a bright but sententious beam of a voice, making sure its rays project all the way to those slumped at the ends of the Earth. Acknowledgement and appreciation of the previous night's PowerPoint presentation of shooting stars is made, followed by polite jokes to put the atmosphere at ease, then many warm words of wisdom are spoken and the audience is baked with light.

I usually find a seat back in Row Y because I'll burn if I get to close to the stage. Sometimes I listen to what the sun says but all too often I'm just checking my phone or hoping we'll take a break to find some shade. After all, the sun will loudly pontificate all day and its shadows can be very long indeed, especially when you're not in the mood for hot air. Let's not forget, my pale skin and moon face mean I'm an SPF 80 kind of guy. Only happy when it rains, as they say. 

But the sun just goes on and on, offering us with cautionary tales of too much exposure causing dehydration, tempered by amusing anecdotes about excessive perspiration occurring at embarrassing moments. The same old phoned-in speech that we hear day after day and year after year. By noon, I'm absolutely frazzled and only half-sentient, sinking deeper and deeper into my seat as if I were a chocolate truffle melting in its wrapper. But even in such a drowsy state it's still essential to hang on to the sun's every word. I wouldn't want to miss any unexpected opportunities for beneficial photosynthesis.

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