Too Much Information

My toenail clippers are quite large, professional grade, heavy-duty. It's almost like they require both hands to operate correctly. In fact, I could probably trim my garden hedges with them. Even create an elaborate topiary, if I wanted. But I'm not a fan of showy flora at home.

I'm sometimes afraid I'm going to sever the tips off my toes when I'm using the clippers. You need to be very precise otherwise there will be blood. I refuse to use them on my fingernails for this very reason. So I just chew those, which is fine provided you file them into acceptable shape after each mouthful. And, as you might expect, the file attachment on my toenail clippers belongs on a woodworking bench beside a massive chisel.

Personal grooming would be much simpler If I just bought a new, more convenient, user-friendly pair of toenail clippers from my local pharmacy. But I tend to believe that an abundance of ease can often lead to downright neglect. Before you know where you are, you've grown huge horns instead of dainty toenails: five little rhinoceros skulls stuck on the end of each foot. Unhygienic and unsightly.

Of course, my clippers are powerful enough to cope with such a disfigurement but I'm not going to let you borrow them if and when it afflicts you. Sorry but I don't like to share my surgical implements. What I do like to share, however, is useless information, especially when it's "too much" information, like this piece of claptrap I've just written. 

Alas, these are the times we live in. Thank your lucky stars it's only a few paragraphs on my obscure blog, and not a thousand pages of confessional memoir promoted by Oprah Winfrey, or a paid Substack subscription that you cannot cancel until next year. Although, there's no difference really. It's all grist for the dark, satanic mills that grind out moronic 'content' and worthless opinion.

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